Meet 19 y/o Sean Johnson. Yup, that's him below..... and believe me, he's got issues....
At about 3:00 pm yesterday (Tuesday, October 14th, 2014) Sean reportedly walked into the Brooksville, Florida Walmart, proceeded to take a stuffed horse off of a shelf, walked it on over to the bedding section (perhaps "cooing" the toy along the way) and then proceeded to use the stuffed animal to assist in masturbating (to a happy ending) right there amongst the linens.
Once finished, young Sean returned the ejaculate-covered toy horse to a shelf and walked right out of Walmart as if nothing unusual had happened. Sadly for Sean he was caught on surveillance cameras, permitting local law enforcement to easily locate and arrest him for indecent exposure in public and criminal mischief.
Memo # 1 to Sean Johnson: Sex toys are fine and well, but they are not generally found in the kiddie section at Walmart. That's just plain creepy. Try your local sex emporium instead. Not only will you find actual, made-for-sex "sex toys" but, as a bonus, you might just also meet an interesting human or two as you peruse the aisles.
Memo # 2 to Sean Johnson: This is what "horse sex" is supposed to look like. Note the definite lack of human involvement.
Memo # 3 to Sean Johnson: For years I have seen the "People of Walmart" pictures circulating, one creepier than the rest. Critters from unimaginable walks of life walk the aisles regularly donning unconscionable outfits and never ceasing to amaze, but you.... you my friend, you have managed to raise that bar.
You now face two 364 day sentences (which can be "stacked - or sun "consecutive" to one another), but your best mitigation is that A) no matter how revolting your behavior was, fortunately you didn't hurt anyone (like some little kid who easily could have happened along right at the wrong moment), B) no amount of jail time can "fix" whatever is wrong with you and C) probation and Court Ordered therapy and treatment are the best possible remedies for your incredible lack of decency, judgment and behavioral issues.
Good luck kid. You're gonna need it.
Yes, Sean....
Established in 1991, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing creative, effective and zealous representation to clients, primarily in South Florida, on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder.
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