Sunday, October 19, 2014

Shoplifting / Theft / Retail Theft / Dallas Cowboys / Joseph Randle / Underwear / Gucci Guilty Black / MeUndies / Douche / Douchebag / Michael A. Haber, Esq. **ARRESTED / **305DUI

Meet Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle.  That's him in the middle, carrying all of those Seahawks defenders down field for forward yardage.

Last year he signed a 4-year 2.35 million (yes, that's "million", with a "m") dollar contract, with a base salary of a meager $495,000.00.  Most folks could buy not only what they need but also whatever they {reasonably} want, but not 'ole Joe.  Nope.  Joe was popped at Dallas area Dillard's last Monday (10/13/14) for stealing a 2-pack of black Polo underwear (valued at $39.50) and a bottle of - I sh*t you not - "Gucci Guilty Black" cologne (values at $84.00).

He faces a misdemeanor theft charge (no biggie, if he has no priors) and was fined (presumably by either the Cowboys or the League) $29,500.00 (which stings, no doubt), but then his agent figured a way to spin his client's Epic FAIL! by signing Joe to an endorsement deal with some outfit called "MeUndies", which A) I have never heard of and B) now, I will never purchase anything from.

Memo to Joe Randle:  You are a douche.  You make more money in a year than most folks will make in a decade, for many in a score or even more years than that.  You are paid huge dollars to do what you presumably love (I don't think that anyone can play pro caliber ball without having a true deep love for the game) and are not tasked with too many other responsibilities in life.  Wtf were you thinking?  And do you really think that donating $15,000.00 of MeUndies to underprivileged folks atones for your idiocy?  Because if you do then you are even stupider than you appear to be.  Wake up and thank whom/whatever you pray to that you were blessed with talent and luck, and stop being a freaking douche.

Memo to Joe's agent:  Smooth move pal, smooth move.

Established in 1991, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing creative, effective and zealous representation to clients, primarily in South Florida, on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder. 

At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "Its all about reasonable doubt"!

Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case!

1-888-SHARK-8-1, 305-381-8686, 305-798-2220, **ARRESTED, **305DUI, **MIAMIDUI, **MIAMILAW or **HABERLAW.

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