Friday, November 21, 2014

Getting Caught Mid-Coitus is Embarrassing, but having Public Sex in Front of a Jail is also a Convenient, if not a Considerate, Crime / Michael A. Haber, Esq. **ARRESTED / **305DUI

Meet 24 y/o Kelli Knutson, yes, that's her (mugshot) below:

And here is her "mate", 33 y/o Logan Jackson:

Apparently these two are "outdoorsy types"...

After a stint at an Oregon strip club called "the Brick House" Kelli and Logan needed to work off some sexual energy, so what did they do?  Naturally, they did the horizontal bop, in a car.  While this normally would not be problematic, per Sgt. Rich Charboneau: "We'd normally tell them to go someplace that's safer than a parking lot, or wherever we might find them. {But} In this case, we had traffic being slowed down, we had someone complaining about it, and so we had to take action." Further, they had to "make sure that  the woman was not being taken advantage of by the male".

Unfortunately for Kelli and Logan they they were victims of bad - really bad - demographics. It seems that they had parked their car across the street from the Brick House, in a parking lot which just so happened to also be directly in front of the Springfield Municipal Jail.  To make matters worse (or better) for them, their tryst occurred at about 5:45 pm on Sunday, November 16th, 2014, at a time when enough folks were driving by so as to cause traffic snarls, interfering with traffic flow and resulting in calls to the police.

As if it is not embarrassing enough to get caught mid-coitus, getting arrested and having your face and saga plastered all over the internet is exponentially worse (for my part in this I'm sorry about that Kelli and Logan - well, kinda, in all honesty yours has also been a fun kind of tale to tell, and you did do it to yourselves - pun intended...).  Still, perhaps the fact that they cooperated with the cops, coupled with the proximity to the jail (thus rendering transportation from the "locus in quo" easy as pie), will cause the prosecutor and or the Judge to be merciful in regard to their respective Indecent Exposure and Disorderly Conduct charges.

Memo to Kelli and Logan (and anyone other "outdoorsy" types):  The next time that you get all hot and bothered and nature calls, take a safer calculated risk.  If you cannot make it to a truly private place, or if you just want that thrill of possibly being caught, then mitigate your risk and find a bathroom stall, as demonstrated below:

Since 1991 Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing boutique criminal defense litigation services to many folks who have been accused of criminality. 

Michael A. Haber, Esq. has creatively, effectively and zealously represented clients on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder. 

Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case!  At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "its all about reasonable doubt"!

1-888-SHARK-8-1, 305-381-8686, 305-798-2220, **ARRESTED, **305DUI, **MIAMIDUI, **MIAMILAW or **HABERLAW.

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