Monday, November 10, 2014

Douche of the Day / 18 y/o Man Robs 12 & 13 y/o Girl Scouts then Loses Tug of War with a Girl Scout & Gets Arrested / Michael A. Haber, Esq. **ARRESTED / **305DUI

18 y/o Gabriel Taylor Smith and his unnamed 17 y/o Juvenile accomplice, both of Severn, MD (yes, that's Gabriel, who is most definitely not an Angel, below)...

Gabriel, douche that he is, stealthily snuck up the sidewalk positioning his douchebag self behind a pair of 12 and 13 y/o girls who were walking along toting their wagon full of Girl Scout cookies, snatched the wagon from them and then headed off toward his get-away vehicle (which was manned by his unnamed albeit equally douchy 17 y/o juvenile co-Defendant).

Unfortunately for Gabriel 4 things converged against him:  1)  The Girl Scouts screamed and pursued him, yelling like banshees; 2) One of the Girl Scouts was so tenacious and unafraid that she grabbed a hold and won the tug of war, reacquiring her wagon and its contents; 3) By standers' attention was caught, good samaritans has sense enough to piece together what was happening and gave chase; and 4) The cops did their job, nabbing and arresting the would be robbers.
Memo to Gabriel (and his juvenile accomplice):  You are a complete and utter douche bag.  Not only are you a degenerate loser for robbing 12 & 13 y/o Girl Scouts (which, incidentally, I am pretty sure qualifies you for a special little pot in Hell) but you got bested by one of those little girls.  

Here's a free tip from me to you:  If anyone asks what you are doing in jail, LIE.  Lie through your ass.  Tell them that you robbed a 7-11 or that you jacked a Marine.... anything but the truth.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot, here's your award... douche...

Since 1991 Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing boutique criminal defense litigation services to many folks who have been accused of criminality. 

Michael A. Haber, Esq. has creatively, effectively and zealously represented clients on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder. 

Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case!  At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "its all about reasonable doubt"!

1-888-SHARK-8-1, 305-381-8686, 305-798-2220, **ARRESTED, **305DUI, **MIAMIDUI, **MIAMILAW or **HABERLAW.

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