Meet 30 y/o Richard Nixie of DeBary, Florida. That's his mug (shot) below....
Richard got himself arrested a few hours before kickoff when Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Officers arrested him for trapping, possession, killing and cooking five (5) "small" (meaning under five (5) feet in length) alligators for his Super Bowl feast.
Scour the internet as I did I cannot find the means by which the FFWCC came to know that Dick (as I call him - for reasons explained below) had trapped, possessed, killed and cooked the subject 'gators, but I have a strong suspicion that it was either social media related (you can find a link to "Haber's Rules for Social Media" here) or that he was ratted-out / snitched-upon by someone who either had a beef with him or was a reptile lover.
Either way, Dick, is a dick, not because he trapped, possessed, killed, cooked and intended to eat alligators (baby, juvenile, tween, adult, senior or otherwise - as I wholeheartedly subscribe to the theory that the only GOOD reptile is one that is made into an accessory I could care less how many he rid us of... in fact, all things equal I'd probably deputize him as a trapper and permit him to trap and kill as many 'gators as he can eat... but I digress); rather Dick is a dick because of his laundry list of prior criminal offenses, allegedly including approximately eight (8) Florida arrests over a twelve (12) year period, including possession of drugs and weapons, trafficking in stolen property, grand theft, disorderly conduct, and he served a three (3) year prison sentence for armed burglary. Dick is a dick because he cannot help but recidivate.
Memo to Dick: Get a license and kill every damn 'gator that you can eat. Don't kill for the sake of killing (even 'gators), but hell, open up a restaurant. Plenty of folks eat 'gator tail. I've even tried it. Tastes like chicken. You've obviously got talent. Put it to good use. After all... A) Prison sucks and B) "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent".
Michael A. Haber, P.A.: Creative, effective and zealous criminal defense advocacy since 1991.
At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "Its all about reasonable doubt".
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