Meet 32 y/o Marisol Toribio. Yes, that's her below....
I don't know what it is that she was allegedly trying to steal from Macy's but, if the many articles that I've read are to be believed, she had an, er, unique, if not thoroughly disgusting, escape plan...
According to news reports, on or about December 29th, 2014 at the Macy's in Coral Springs, Florida, when confronted by store security Marisol reached into her pants, scooped out a handful of poop (crap, feces, sh*t... whatever you wanna call it)...
and then smeared it directly into the no doubt baffled and unsuspecting security officer's face.
I also have not been able to learn a) if Marisol had premeditated her escape plan (i.e. had the fecal matter waiting just in case) or if she simply shat / sharted / or crapped her pants after being caught and confronted or b) what happened after the security guard was smeared, but I do know that the Coral Springs Police Department charged her with retail theft and tampering with evidence.
Some articles have alleged that Marisol was also charged with "criminal grossness" but {while there probably should be} there is no such crime in Florida. Intentional and non-consensual touching of another is called "battery", and if you use a weapon (or hazardous material) to effectuate the non-consensual touching then yours is an "aggravated battery" (which is a felony instead of a misdemeanor).
Memo to Marisol:
Michael A. Haber, P.A.: Creative, effective and zealous criminal defense advocacy since 1991.
At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "Its all about reasonable doubt".
Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case!
LIKE www.facebook.com/haberpa ~ FOLLOW http://habercriminallaw.blogspot.com ~ SUBSCRIBE https://www.youtube.com/c/michaelhaberlaw ~ SEE www.criminallaw.miami ~ CALL 1-888-SHARK-8-1
THIS BLOG POST (AS ARE ALL OF HABERPA BLOG POSTS) IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT WHICH IS PRIMARILY DESIGNED, BY WAY OF REAL WORLD EXAMPLE, TO ASSIST THE GENERAL PUBLIC IN AVOIDING CONDUCT WHICH COULD FORESEEABLY RESULT IN ARREST AND PROSECUTION!
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