Meet 50 y/o John Balmer. Yes, that's him below....
Do you see / did you read his t-shirt? "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs".... Well the cops did, and his initial appearance / bond hearing Judge will, as will his prosecutor and his jury, if his case goes to trial.
According to the new reports the arrest affidavit claims that John was standing in check out line at a Florida K-Mart when a police officer walked in the store. In an apparent moment of extreme paranoia John attempted to hand-off a baggie containing a mixture of marijuana and meth to the guy standing in line behind him.
When the unsuspecting K-mart patron / recipient failed to accept the hand-off (not being interested in receiving the "leafy green substance") John did a "dropsie" (surreptitiously tossed the baggie to the ground) as he payed for his merchandise.
Unfortunately for John a K-Mart employee observed the clandestine attempt and ratted him out to the cops.
Memos to the John: 1) If you are prone to paranoia then you should probably not leave your home. 2) If you don;t panic and keep your cool then you will likely skate. 3) If you reek of fear then predators will smell it, and hunt you down. 4) If you are carrying controlled substances its not a good idea to wear a shirt advertising the same. 5) ...
Memo to the Folks: 1) See above. 2) Believe it or not this is not nearly as far toward stupid as some folks act. In my 23+ years I have seen folks appear in court wearing such things as a 4" (or so) AK-57 charm hanging proudly around their neck and t-shirts that say "F*ck the Police", "Drunk as Sh*t" and "Reefer Ranger" in big bold letters, not to fail to mention uncountable visible ass cracks, breasts, pants about the knees and sunglasses and finally the blatantly intoxicated folks who show up reeking of booze, pot and those who have an unidentifiable, but truly horrific, stench. 3) Be smarter than John Balmer. It won't be a terribly tough task. I promise.
For more than 23 years Michael A. Haber, P.A. has been providing creative, effective and zealous advocacy and counsel in cases ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder.
At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "Its all about reasonable doubt"!
Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case!
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THIS BLOG POST (AS ARE ALL OF HABERPA BLOG POSTS) IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT WHICH IS PRIMARILY DESIGNED, BY WAY OF REAL WORLD EXAMPLE, TO ASSIST THE GENERAL PUBLIC IN AVOIDING CONDUCT WHICH COULD FORESEEABLY RESULT IN ARREST AND PROSECUTION!
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