The amazingly stupid things that drunk folks do...
Meet Orion Jones, aged 20. Yes, that's him below....
Orion is not old enough to drink, and he definitely can't handle his liquor, yet drunk he somehow became in the early morning hours of Saturday, January 24th, 2015 when he was observed on the upstairs balcony of Rick's Bar in Key West Florida, peeing...
Unfortunately, beneath Orion's belt (did you like that?) was 26 y/o Tia Cruz, pictured below...
Tia was an unsuspecting and hard-working waitress who had the misfortune of being in the wrong spot at the wrong time. As she was speaking with a customer she "began feeling something wet on her body" and thought that it might be raining. Shockingly, at that moment a co-worker yelled out to her that she was being peed on by a guy from the balcony above, and shortly after that all hell broke loose.
After being spotted and called out Orion took to flight. He was initially restrained by bar bouncers but he managed to shake loose. Then cops got a hold of him and he once again proved too slippery... perhaps due to some residual yellow liquid lube?
Key West cops finally had enough of Orion's shenanigans and tased him twice, thus ending the melee and permitting an arrest for disorderly intoxication, underage drinking and resisting arrest. (Why he was not charged with some form of battery, or aggravated battery even, for urinating on an unsuspecting human victim is beyond me, but I am sure that even if the cops didn't think about tacking on that no brainer of a charge then the Monroe County State Attorney's Office will... after all golden showers are not everyday occurrences, not in public anyhow).
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